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Lisa's Weekly Random Thought

Friday, January 30, 2009


With the Super Bowl quickly approaching, I, the Queen of Mean, have decided to share my views on men and sports. Enjoy!

ESPN is the greatest invention to hit men since pussy. This is because the only time men aren't thinking about pussy is when they're watching ESPN. ESPN is the opiate that lets a man forget his dreams never came true and that he married the wrong woman.

Women are always dismayed that men can watch the same sports highlights over and over again. Not me! Men can watch the same highlight 100 times in one day because it's still more enjoyable than listening to anything their wives have to say. Professional sports are men's soap operas and their love of Derek Jeter is just as important to them as Alexandra's fourth marriage to her stepfather on "Wasted Days of Your Pathetic Lives" is to their women.

Most men just watch sports, and some actually play them. But don't be fooled, ladies. Not all men who play sports are "Athletes." If your man plays softball, pool, or bowls, he's not an athlete -- he's an alcoholic. The two sports men love to play the most are golf and fishing because that means they're away from home for the whole day. White men love golf because there are rarely any black people there, and black men love it because there are so few of them, they're treated like whites.

If your man is a fisherman, be grateful. Not only will he be gone all day, he'll come home thinking you're pissed when you actually shopped, masturbated, and had a grand old time. The downside of being married to a fisherman is that if he's cheating you'll never know because when he comes home from either, he will smell like fish. However, if he fishes, you may get a boat out of the deal. But remember -- never ever go out on the boat with him alone. Every guy has seen "The Godfather" and if he wants to take you on Christmas Eve, run!


6 Comments:

Blogger canyonranchstalker said...

I like golf because its the one sport where I can beat a Black guy (except Tiger Woods but he's only part Black) Then I realize my penis is less than half their size and I feel like s**t again.

January 31, 2009 at 3:15 PM 
Blogger miamivise said...

LISA--BABBEE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE??
THE WAY YOU SAY"CUNT" I LOVE IT!! COOL, YOU LIKE TO GET BANGED BY BLACK GUY'S CUZ THEY CAN "LONG-STROKE" YO ASS. BUT, CHECK THIS-OUT,ME, AND NOT MANY CRACKER'S LIKE ME GOT EATIN-PUSSY DOWN TO A SCIENCE, SO IF YOU EVER,EVER,STOP BY MICHIGAN, GIMMEA CALL, AND I WILL EAT YOU OUT TILL YOUR PRETTY-BLONDE-HEAD-CAVES-IN !!(AND A BLACK GUY CANNOT EVER,EVER DO THAT)HA! HA!

February 1, 2009 at 9:26 PM 
Blogger miamivise said...

CANYONRANCHSTALKER, DUDE YOU MISSED THE POINT, IT'S NOT ABOUT THE "BLACK GUY", IT IS ABOUT LISA, SHE LIKES TO FUCKED HARD, BUT DID YOU EVEN HEAR HER MENTION GETTING ATE-OUT PROPERLY?? NO, I DID NOT, SO THAT TELLS ME THAT HER FAT PUSSY, (AND I LOVE FAT PUSSY) IS JUST BEGGING TO GET ATE-OUT. HA! HA!! I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!!!!!

February 1, 2009 at 9:29 PM 
Blogger jay said...

I luv this cunt-ry and I luv ya Lisa!! Keep up the great laughs!!! And save some for this black Man!!!

February 2, 2009 at 7:57 PM 
Blogger chocolovinwhore said...

lisa you are awesome! and im happy to report i finally found a black man thats hung like a donkey and eats pussy till i pass out! ha. ever wanna try him give me a call ill watch!

February 3, 2009 at 10:09 PM 
Blogger Chris Robinson said...

What could be more gay than grown ass men watching other grown ass men jump all over each other, handle all those balls, pat each other on the ass and try to score?

I'm a straight married male and I can't stand sports. Guy friends think I am gay for going to the mall with my wife on superbowl sunday. But I sit their while she shops and stare at the asses on all the other wives who are out shopping while their dickhead husbands are watching grown ass men roll around in the grass.

So who's the queer?

February 17, 2009 at 4:45 PM 

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